Starmen.Net

You know what? I wish I was IN an awesome sandwich too!

oh and #300. YAY!

There's a freakish little bug wherein if you put up power shields on both Ness and Jeff, and the Robot's hit-all missile attack bounces off both, and the first bounce kills the Robot, it processes both and thus the fight ending sequence plays twice. However, until Radiation claimed otherwise, I've always heard that it does NOT give double the experience. You sure about that, Rad?

:lol: Now's the time to use a chick in front of a chick, and get that hilarious text. Can't wait.

I love how Toast talks every time he gets mashroomized. I wonder if Annie would be jealous if she knew of his obsession with Irish whores.

Whoops, I posted too late. Time for another acid trip

flavor country, indeed.

HONORABLE SURNAME NUMBER 23 - THE PRINCE OF DALAAM

mmmmm cake

[i]I am really buzzed it must be coffee cake or something...

... tee...

...hee........[/i]

Hello. I am a prince of a beautiful country, surrounded by whirling pink clouds. These clouds hold my kingdom up. Please do not ask me if they are edible. Their delicious curves tempt me even now.

Dalaam is an ancient country that is in the middle of the world. Our customs and culture are rich and well-preserved. Our height isolates us from everyone else. Having no neighbors is a burden, but this makes our culture unique. It is for this reason I am proud to be prince. I will protect the society of my ancestors.

[i]Ah. Yes, I am prince. I was not formerly known as prince. I have been prince all my life. Soon I will become king.

I am not any ordinary prince.

I am the crown prince, Ahmed.[/i]

[i]A final trial that is fit for a crown prince. I am ready, because trials are things that prove my worth to this beautiful country.

You may be wondering why I am called "Ahmed" although this country is incredibly Asiatic and has very little relation to Arab culture. Historically, my family has named each successor to the throne "Poo," a very traditional name for a monarch. However, my father received a message while meditiating that I should be called "Ahmed" in the stead of Poo. I was called Ahmed, and the people accepted it.

Unfortunately, after meditating, he received a message from the Gods that we should eat Babies at every meal. The people revolted, killing my father.

This is why I am to become king.[/i]

The "Place of Emptiness" is a pillar of stone, at which I sit and close my eyes for hours at a time. It is called "meditating." It killed my father, but I continue onward.

You and me both, Honorable One. Ha ha! Laughter.

[i]I am honored, but I am too young to have my way with the beautiful Dalaamese woman. When I am older I will choose a suitable queen.

Inside the first golden chest was the Brain Stone, a psychic stone which is tempered through an ancient Dalaamese process. When squeezing it, it clears the mind and enhances mental performance. In the second golden chest was a traditional Cup of Life-Restoring Noodles. In the third was a Brain Food Lunch, a basket filled with gruel and fish seasoned with sweet crystals. It is the only food I can eat. I am intolerant of all other foods. They cause my stomach to become filled with the gas of pain.[/i]

This man wears a tele-phone on his head. When utilizing it, it always calls a strange man who tells me about "EXP" and calls me "Toast." I call him often. Sometimes he gets confused when he is getting calls from two people called "Toast" at the same time. Perhaps he has some sort of mental disability where he can only call people "Toast." Perhaps that is the name of his fallen mother.

[i]I am sorry, my cherry blossom. My heart throbs only for Mu Training.

This, and gruel. However I am intolerant to gruel. And women.[/i]

Immortality is to be remembered forever. A good example of immortals are people that create songs that become stuck in your head. No matter how hard you wish, the people who created them simply won't die. That is immortality.

The purity of water replenishes the balance of Yin and Yang in my body, calming myself and allowing me to concentrate psychically to the best of my ability. Yes... nothing can replace a cool, refreshing drink of water. It also helps that my country is sponsored by Dasani.

I am sorry. Mu training is the only thing I will give up my body and mind to. It is the only thing I will get dirty and sweaty for. I am sorry.

[i]Delisauce is a food dressing whose taste is simultaneously sweet, sour, and salty at the same time. Although that may sound like it tastes badly, it actually tastes very good when placed on any food. Its name is derived from the fusion of the words "deli" and "sauce", which, when combined in Dalaamese, spell the word "donkey's rear."

It is a pun which does not translate to your language. I am sorry.[/i]

I cannot satisfy the women of Dalaam, and yet I give myself up to the temptation of the sweetest gruel. I am a cruel and scandalous prince. What would the people think of a king, eating gruel all day and scarcely ruling the country? I will give myself up to my training in hopes to purify my raging taste buds.

Legend has it a dangerous thunder monster with eight heads lives inside that cave. Each hundred years, we sacrifice a rabbit statue to the monster, but it never eats them. The rabbits can only be removed by the usage of a specific key which was buried at the opposite side of the earth. I can not worry about this now. I must complete my Mu training. Nothing will stop me.

An old man in need of my help. This is no doubt another test. I will ignore the man and continue to my training.

[i]I have failed you, my ancestors. The temptation to be sidetracked by an honorable person are very great.

Thank you. You sound like a woman, but look like an old man. What are you, honorable one? (This person has the body of an old one, but has eyes sparkling with the fervor of youth. His movements are undeniably smooth.)[/i]

"Long ago, I completed Mu Training. I want to show you a new level of intelligence. However, I'm still realizing and learning this new level... I'll see you again! So long!"

With that he spun around like a tornado and took off in a blinding spin. What an odd man. His experience is unmistakable, however.

It is time to begin my training. I will sit here.

don't post part 2 commin up

I knew I'd love your portrayal of PooAhmed. Should be amusing to see how the Four interact now.

Glad to see you back in the fray, Radiation.

I need to do recordings of ALL OF THESE, but embedded microphones/line-in ≠ mic-in are phail. STEVE JOBS. I WANT A MIC-IN PORT NOW GIVE ME ONE.

you are my hero

I called dibs!

Holy cow I hope you're sarcastic...a forum move, and EBFGP going on...give the man a break! He delivers!

Yeah, I know. Doesn't that suck? Either I'll go back and fix them or hopefully some sort of magic automatron will negate the problem for me.

I don't know why, but I can picture Toast fighting Ahmed because they can't agree on Babies or Gruel.

Yes! It's back! Good lord, I couldn't stop laughing! Ahmed is awesome.

Also, since they're still in Summers you can do the Chick thing still.

Sorry for the double post, but it’s been 3 days sense the last post and it’s already on page 2.

Please. For everyone else, and especially for Radiation, don’t bump the topic. Also, read page 6 thoroughly. Now. Please.

No more bumping the topic! No more!

Eh, Jatopian beat me.

I know that Rad wouldn’t forget something like this unless his pet Earthbound caught on fire or something. No mere page number will make him forget so no worries about it.

hahahahha

yeah guys don’t let this get to page 2 I have the attention span of a peanut

sometimes I wake up and forget this website exists and I forget my name and I have to re-learn how to pee and everything that’s why it takes me so long to update this because it takes forever for me to get to this spot because i odn’t even remember how to beat this much earthbound and I keep deleting my file because I want to start fresh

no seriously what yeah don’t bump this please nessbutts listen to other people they have good posts and I am very glad that you guys respect and understand that I am lazy and dumb sometimes thank you very much

why would I forget something like this everyday I’m out walking with my friend I’m like “yeah I should update my LP now” and then I get home and it’s like 50 o’clock because I played b-ball for like 89 hours or whatever basketballs should be deleted from life I’ll never get anything done

Hurry up and get to the healer, Radiation, because your last post made you sound like you got mashroomized.

Mashi - I just don’t see that taking off like the Rick Roll. I hope you’re not the creator, because quite honestly it’s full of fail.

well that sucks hugely. D:

maybe do a video?

Well this sucks...
PM a mod?

NO THIS LETSPLAY CANT DIE!LIVE DARN YOU LIVE LIVVE LIVVVE!!!

is there any possible solution?WAIT IT JUST CAME TO ME!okay find a good site for setting up blogs or sites such as wordpress.put the link here and continue the letsplay there!

CHAPTER 24: boobs are awesome

Guess what time it is, ladies and gentlemen?

That’s right, it’s mothafreaking STEREO TIME. TIME TO PUMP UP THE VOLUME. DOUBLE THE SOUND, DOUBLE THE POWER!

anyway where was I

dude I got like 0 hours of sleep last night I don’t know I need to take a nap

frick

then how much money do invisible instantaneous airlines cost

Ahmed is a pretty cool guy. I didn’t mention it but he just showed up out of nowhere on the beach. It’s weird because he knows the same PSI as me, but he does it differently. Like, for Teleport, instead of just running in one direction until he has enough speed, he runs around in a circle to conserve space. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to turn fast enough. It’s like there’s a plug in my brain or something.

ugh

when is that guy going to update his letsplay

what a freaking creep

Ted somehow fixed a broken tube into a molecular life force vacuum while everyone else was sleeping. It’s ingenious and also very scary once you think about the fact that vampiric technology can easily be made out of household building materials. Once Ted figures out how to make the nuclear brick-bomb we’re gonna be in major trouble with the government.

um

no newspaper

what a cop out

what other reason is there to stay at hotels anyway

I know Ahmed is. Man that guy has been trying to get a tan for days.

oh crap it’s just like in that movie groundhog day

help guys we’re trapped in the same day forever

WASN’T SHE STANDING IN THE SAME PLACE YESTERDAY AHHHHHHHH

magic tarts no thanks I had enough of those freaking witch harlots in threed

From the free sample, I knew that the Magic Tarts were made out of PSI-crystals. I don’t know what she’s doing, but she’s putting something in these tarts that’s changing the molecular composition of the sugar, kind of like ancient samurai sword smelting or a drug lab.

I have the feeling that I’m supposed to be doing something but this guy literally asked me for a fight so I couldn’t say no.

Ahmed punched him in the nose and then he just curled up in the fetal position, crying. He left behind a present box that was assumedly to his girlfriend. Inside it was an infantile chicken, or “chick.”

Speaking of Ahmed, oh man is it going to be weird. He was looking pretty scruffed up after the pointless fight so I gave him a double-burger. He doesn’t understand Western food at all! He opened up the buns and he was like

“Excuse me, where are the succulent internal organs?”

so I had to tell him

“dude, those are the succulent internal organs!”

Also apparently he is intolerant for everything and also doesn’t like Western food very much. I can’t really blame him. In Asia you have to like… not eat stuff with your hands. It’s weird.

wtf I’m not asian

Perhaps the youthful fowl is addressed to this budding female?

well

um

yes, it does, I like girls

but

what

After I brought the two chicks together it disappeared in a tiny puff of smoke.

What.

I just… looked at it.

wtf I’m not a samurai

SAMURAI PIZZA CATS maybe

Oh, right, he wanted some sort of valuables last time. Luckily Ahmed had a crown jewel that had been passed down through generations and generations of his family. He was ready to give it away, but I stopped him. It’s his heritage. We’ve destroyed giant monsters far more intimidating than a simple shady museum worker. Someone this shady needs to be taught a lesson, and not in economics.

No, we’re not giving you the gem, creep. You can have a cookie.

yeah it’s like

a freaking oreo

yes… I hope you do…

let’s pretend this conversation never took YOUR FACE

Afterwards, Ahmed who is too nice gave him the gem. But whatever, he broke his tooth biting into it so it’s okay.

Anyway, the room was practically done. There was a large hieroglyph and two caskets that were randomly hanging around the area. They slowly slid toward us as we approached.

Suddenly, one of the caskets ripped open to reveal a partially mummified, cracked man who lumbered toward the party, attacking. We looked at the curator, who apparently didn’t notice that we were about to get into a fight with a giant, 2200-year-old random corpse.

Okay, good, because for a minute there I thought I was gonna get in trouble for breaking it.

He gave me a great big hug. I couldn’t move. It was like being hugged by your grandma because it’s constricting and smells pretty much the same. While he was distracted, Annie quickly blasted him with a shot of cold air, freezing him in place.

Afterwards I took the wrap off of him. For some reason the wrap was incredibly rigid while still retaining its whiplike qualities. I put it in my bag because sometimes I have to go to the bathroom when we’re in a cave or something and it’s stupid.

Oh, wait, you’re middle Eastern? No wonder you’re named Ahmed. For some reason I thought you were Asian. Kidding. In any case, Ahmed read the hieroglyphs.

“To fight against the invaders, we built this pyramid fortress. However, our efforts were futile, and we lost. Nonetheless, our pyramid was protected by the gods of Scaraba. The invaders will be reborn every millenium and will attack again. Even now, the invaders hide beyond space and time in their evil stronghold.

A place out of time is beyond the Dark, and is even farther than beyond the Lost Underworld. The Deep Darkness is shrouded, it is without light. Only one with the Hawk eye can pierce the light.

The sphinx now watches over everything, waiting for the coming of a truly brave hero. dot four three two five

Dance in front of the Sphinx!”

Huh… so… Giygas already invaded Earth, 1000 years ago. And to stop him, we need to transcend space and time? Even for me, that sounds a little complicated…

That’s a good idea! We’ll need to formulate a plan…

First, we’ll go to Scaraba, and dance in front of the Sphinx. Somewhere along the way, we’ll find the Hawk eye. Afterward, we’ll go to Deep Darkness and ultimately to… the Lost Underworld? I’ve read about Deep Darkness in travel magazines and alligator hunter specials but I’ve never heard of the Lost Underworld except on incredibly cheesy sci-fi dinosaur flicks…

okay, screw it

next time, we’ll buy chips ahoy. happy?

Actually, he gave us a picture of the hieroglyphs, which doesn’t help that much because we all know what it says.

phone’s ringing

I’ll get it and be like “hello this is mach pizza may I take your orders”

tee hee

REVERSE PRANK CALL

yes

would you like fries with that

i sound different over the phoen

boobs were invented a while ago

who do you think you are

yeah are you going to order a pizza or what

dude

THE barney the dinosaur?

you should date my sister and have a kid called “spork”

this guy is way too excited about them even for me

Jesus. You think that a guy would have seen a girl before. It wasn’t until I realized he was some sort of history major until I realized that he probably hadn’t. What a poor guy. We should go to Fourside and visit him.

what

am I fat

guys I’m not fat

I’m like

well

okay well look at pokey

You guys know I hate this guy, but I have a legitimate reason this time. There is a ceiling to this place. He freaking burst through the ceiling and sent tiles flying all over the floor. It was like Andross except retarded. Then he flew away. We have to pay $20 to get in and this guy causes $100’s in property damage and no one cares.

Anyway, I found Mr. Spoon and told him to stop worrying about extraordinary things, because there are plenty of them.

... I just slapped my face. Look, I’m thirteen, I already know about them. Jesus.

Then he looked at me confusedly and I felt kind of embarassed. I hadn’t mentioned this to anyone… I just kind of figured that’s what he was talking about. He might actually be talking about something… you know, cool, like a giant rat or a sewer passage or something like that. I need to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

Okay. Sure, tell me about it!

goddammit

nevermind

YES, I KNOW

SHE’S VERY ATTRACTIVE

SHE SHOULD BE CALLED “APHRODITE” NOT “VENUS” BECAUSE SHE IS SO LOVELY

what about her

ummmm do I even still have the pencil eraser I think I might have sent it back to tracy

but yeah sure G

...... ohhhhhhh

ewwwwwwwwwwwww

gross

manboobs

Oh, okay. Cool.

(Really, now that I think about it… this guy might actually just have a secret stockpile of ladies behind that door he’s guarding. I don’t know. Maybe that’s what he’s talking about! Tee hee! ALL IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE MY FRIENDS)

toilet paper well I’m not wasting my mummy wrap

where am I going to get some of that…... OH WAIT I KNOW

i am a genius

Yes! Public restrooms to the rescue!

ugh

I DO need to use it

to steal toilet paper

it’s like… this always happens

whenever you want to steal toilet paper, someone’s ALWAYS using it

This is why women go to the bathroom so much. To think.

Anyway I can’t find any toilet paper it’s time to go to Scaraba or whatever I was doing.

Check out how classy this map is. Instead of the normal hamburger icon for “food,” they have a knife and fork, because Summers is classy. In Summers, people don’t even eat food. They eat silverware. Because they can afford it.

Also I forgot to mention that Ahmed doesn’t have any weapons or armor. It’s kind of sad. He can wear pendants, but the extra weight of the pendant on his feather-light gi simply makes him more susceptible to being hit. While we can block with our armor, it just slows him down because it slightly alters the lightning-quick martial arts blocking moves he does.

He can’t use yo-yos, he hits himself in the face. He can’t use slingshots, because he tries to use them like a bow and it doesn’t work. It’s kind of sad because we all have trademark weapons and are decked out in bling and he’s stronger than all of us but at a big disadvantage because he can’t wear anything.

man I bought a venus ticket for that loser

that is a pretty accurate description of her btw, except bad should be badly ADVERB’D

so sexy

it hurts

wait why does the announcer sound like barney

you need to do it in that voice

guys I don’t think that’s an announcer

Man! Venus was really sparkly and really prettttyyyyyyyyy. She sang really well. Something about that performance was just really extraordinary… if you know what I mean.

I mean, except for the part where Mr. Spoon tried to go up and sing with her and she had to back away while the bouncers came over. That was just kind of creepy if you ask me.

dear livejournal:

Oh man I went up to her after the show and I was giggling like a little schoolgirl… a little schoolgirl that had just seen a really hot girl sing up on stage and be sparkly everywhere. Man I am freaking out and being awkwardly quiet and everything WHAT DO I DO HELP ME ANNIEEEEEEEEE so then Annie asked for her autograph.

yayyyyy thank you ok let’s go annie THANK YOU VERY MUCH MISS VENUS

i made the heart sign with my hands

it is more accurate than ANYTHING I COULD EVER SAY

OH MAN

OH MAN

she kissed me on the cheek

her lips were there for a split second

THOSE MAGNIFICENT SLICES OF PEPPERONI, ALL OVER MY FACE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GUYS HELP ME I’M GOING TO EXPLODE IN A WAVE OF PASSION

as we left ahmed and ted high-fived me, ahmed was like “her body is like it’s shaped out of gruel itself” and ted was like “that was amazing! i’m going to have to get tony to go with me to concerts and then we can both get free kisses from girls!”

annie was kind of just like and didn’t really say anything so I decided to cheer her up

annie, don’t worry. you can still help me.

HELP ME MARRY HER

Yep, I’ve decided. I’m marrying Venus. I’m going to track down her mom and ask for her hand in marriage.

yes hello venus’s mom I would like to marry your daughter

don’t worry they were on but I am trying to marry her so things might change in the future

Yep!

I gave up marrying her for now. Annie convinced me that our priority is saving the world right now, and if I settled down and had kids with Venus that really wouldn’t work. Good thing I have Annie, otherwise girls would drive me crazy!

OH GOD NO

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

oh. I already… dude!!!

oh phew for a minute I thought it was gonna be your manboobs dude

this looks AWESOME

END OF CHAPTERR

Wow, that was “extraordinary”. Awesome stuff!